Random EOTDs And A Wall of Text aka Random Blatherings

I feel like talking today. If you guys want to skip the wall of text I'll understand!

Tuesday was my boyfriend's birthday.  He's been wanting to go to a shooting range for the longest time so his step-dad took him for his birthday. I wanted to go also just because we have a gun in the house and it makes me uncomfortable having it there when I don't know how to use it properly.  So we went to this tiny indoor shooting range that only had a few lanes. Luckily we were the only ones there because, sorry for the vulgarity (actually I'm not too sorry, I have a terrible potty mouth in real life), but I freaked the fuck out after shooting the first time. I wasn't expecting it to be so loud or... powerful. I was wearing ear protection but they had to go and get me some heavy duty ear phone thingies AND ear plugs at the same time before I would even go back in.  I guess I have really sensitive ears because it hurt!  And I usually have a really high pain tolerance.  Plus ear pain is freakin scary.  I like to be able to hear, thank you very much!

Ugh, I felt like such a weenie. I started crying because I was so overwhelmed. Isn't that so stupid?  I was so angry at myself, which made me cry more. I wasn't scared of the shooting part so much, but more the noise. The fear was weird and completely involuntary. I've never felt like that before- like a deep-seated desperately primal fear.  And of course it pissed me off so much that I shot that damn gun until I started to like it (well, at least get more familiar with it. I don't think shooting guns will ever be my idea of fun. It's kinda boring after awhile). But it's still scary. Shooting a gun is nothing like how easy they do it in the movies. It feels substantial and most definitely lethal.  For the gun enthusiasts out there I'm sure it seems like I'm making a big deal about nothing, and even I was surprised that it felt like a big deal. My boyfriend's step-dad said that next time he would take us to an outdoor shooting range where the noise isn't so bad. Apparently they have a outdoor range right across from the prison out in the middle of nowhere. Because that totally seems like a logical place for a shooting range- next to a prison.

For those of you that have shot guns, do you experience anything similar your first time?  I think it made it worse that I was in a tiny enclosed space. I have a tendency for panic attacks and anxiety and in there with the guns going off I felt like a trapped animal.  Now that I think about it, I was having a bit of a panic attack. It was only my embarrassment and my pride that kept me semi-composed. Ugh, I'm so dumb.

Well, that was incredibly long. Thanks to those of you that read it.

Here are a few random EOTDs that I've worn over the past month and a half. The whole face pictures weren't good enough so I cropped out my eyeballs. And I don't remember everything I was wearing in all them but I'll try.

This is a random purple eyeshdow from NYC in the crease and Verve from the Urban Decay Rollergirl palette on the lid.

This is all the neutrals from the Rollergirl palette and some grey eyeliner my mom gave me that does not match the look at all.

I don't remember the exact shades, but the eyeshadows are all from NYX. The gold liner is Pure Show from MAC.

Here is the oh-so-sexy half asleep eye. I'm wearing all 4 of elf's studio creme eyeshadows.

I'm wearing Benefit's Creaseless Cream eyeshadows in Plum-ing For Gold with Taupe-Aztic on top. They were part of some limited edition collection and not available any more, which is a shame. I'm also wearing MAC's Pure Show on my upper lash line.

This is Estee Lauder's Shadowstick in Teal on my lid with High Voltage Cosmetics' Mani & Sol in my crease. I'm also wearing MAC's Treat Me Nice eyeliner above my upper lash line.

I liked this look so much I'm going to post another picture of it.

Thank you guys for reading this! If you made it through my wall of text and random pictures you deserve something cool. Like a cookie!