I feel... defeated and sad. I talk big, but I'm really a big weenie who hates confrontation. It makes me shaky and nauseous. I have a tendency to become extremely angry and semi-incoherent. When that approach doesn't work (and it never does) I become coldly angry and eloquent. THEN I become quiet, reasonable, sad, and desperate to make things work and for the other person to see even a glimmer of reason (or at least that someone seeing something from a different perspective doesn't make them wrong). But usually by then it's too late.
If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I got in a HUGE fight with my neighbor last night (through the 6 foot privacy fence, haha). She has 4 dogs and whenever she is home, they are always outside barking continuously. Yes, even in the middle of the night. We've lived here for 2 years and I've never complained about it but I finally got fed up. Also, her dogs antagonize mine. My bulldog is bad and bites on the fence between our yards, but only because her dogs are bouncing off the fence on the other side. To stop my bulldog from biting on the fence, we put a smaller flower bed type fence in front of it. But the bulldog has learned to jump that and right now we're waiting to get the money so we can build a better solution (a higher fence before the actual fence). But every time he jumps that stupid little fence I go outside and bring him in immediately. But because her dogs are out for hours at a time I can never let mine out. But that isn't even my issue because we are going to fix the little fence. My issue is the barking in the middle of the night. If you guys didn't know my boyfriend is a firefighter, and it's a stressful job. He NEEDS his sleep at night. I see him tossing and turning at night when her dogs are barking and I finally had enough. The confrontation started cordially enough by me asking her to keep them quiet at night because my boyfriend (and I) were having trouble sleeping. Well... it was a weird argument that devolved quickly into insults from both sides. I felt terrible and apologized and after she called me "insane, unintelligent, and a coward". I tried talking things out and it just didn't work. She said a lot of weird things that made me believe she isn't completely rational. Like this- she doesn't like to discipline her dogs or be "mean" to them because that have had hard lives. Wtf? I understand irrationality in anger, but this was before that. The things she said to me don't bother me, it's just all the negative energy lingering making me feel sick. That and the fact that she refused to do anything so I'm going to have to escalate the issue to our landlord. I just want the problem to go away. I just want to be able to sleep. Ugh.
I'm still too shook up to think about makeup right now, so I'll post some pictures of my doggies if you guys don't mind. They sometimes sometimes drive me insane, but more often than not they actually help me maintain my sanity.
Sorry for new pretties today. Just not in a pretty mood. If you guys want to see pictures of something pretty, make sure to look at the post from yesterday!
Thank you for reading and have a great day/night/whatever!
There's no such thing as a bad dog, just bad owners, and if you can't discipline them then you shouldn't have them. This woman sounds like a real bitch if I'm honest, I've had my share of neighbour pains recently so I know how you feel. Sometimes just talking about it can make you feel better. :)
ReplyDeleteI assume you live in the USA, in the UK we have to contact the council about dogs barking at all hours.
Bloody hell. If your dog is barking to fuck all night long, it's got a problem, and that problem stems with the owner.
ReplyDeleteSometimes the woman downstairs babysits her daughters dog, but she'll leave it and go out and that thing will literally -actually literally, not teenager literally - bark straight from 8 o'clock till three in the morning when we either finally fall asleep/go insane. When it first happened we thought someone had been raped or murdered, so we went down to be heroes and the dog just barked louder at us. Sigh. Did you know a pug could be so fucking loud you want to shoot yourself? Anyway, I feel your pain because I imagine your situation is 10,000 x worse. I'd go to the landlord.
I agree with Lydia! If your neighbor doesn't want to deal with and discipline her dogs, she shouldn't have them. She really should have a bit more consideration for her neighbors! I live in a very rural area with a field separating me from my closest neighbor. We used to have a dog that would back at every little thing in the yard. When she would start carrying on, I would bring her in right away for fear of her bothering someone.
ReplyDeleteYour babies are SO adorable! I love your bulldog's underbite :)
Having a hard life is more of a reason to make sure you are kind, but keep control. A dog from a bad background can turn bad quickly and possibly even hurt someone. It sounds like hers are just naughty, but it doesn't make it ok to let them rule the neighborhood. Hope you can get it taken care of without being too much more stressful.
ReplyDeletebtw - doggie in a plastic bag cape is too funny ;)
Your neighbor needs to be responsible and train her dogs. No excuses. She's being unreasonable by saying the dogs had hard lives. So what? You don't have to beat a dog in order to train it. It's her responsibility as a dog owner to train her pets. Or else they won't be able to live in a residential area.
ReplyDelete@Everyone- Thank you guys so much. I keep going over and over in my head what I could have done differently. I definitely shouldn't have gotten so heated, but I was frustrated and angry. When people mess with the people I love (her dogs not letting my boyfriend sleep) I get extremely defensive. From now on whenever I talk to anyone about this matter I will keep my cool. I looked up my city's code on noise violation and they are very specific and strict on noisy dogs. I think I will talk with my landlord first, though.
ReplyDelete"she doesn't like to discipline her dogs or be "mean" to them because that have had hard lives"
ReplyDeleteSo, parents who adopt a child from an abusive home should just "be nice" and let the child act out as much as it pleases, rather than dole out appropriate discipline? Because, you know, dogs are a bit like children. They're not stupid. Their psychological damage CAN be repaired if you get off your arse and do it. This lady, bless her heart, is probably sincerely trying to do the right, fair thing... but all she is doing by "not being mean" is proving herself to be a completely unfit guardian.
I might talk to animal control, as well. See what their opinion on dog psychology is.
I love your dogs! Oh my gosh I love bulldogs. We have the *same* problem with a neighbor who keeps her dogs out at all hours and they just bark and bark. That sets our dog to barking and usually causes a chain reaction.
ReplyDeleteWe actually called animal control and spoke to them. They let us know they couldn't give them a warning, but they would go over with some recommendations on keeping the dogs quiet. If that didn't work, they told us to file a police report.
I know it sounds like a lot, but they have no consideration for the people living near them.Call animal control and then file a noise complaint with the police.
What a jerk! I hate confrontation too and I can totally relate to being actually, physically sick from it. She sounds like a real piece of work. Next time her dogs are barking at night, call the police. Maybe they can do something...and if they do it again, call again. SHe will eventually take the HINT that SHE is wrong....
ReplyDeleteI really feel for you because we had the same problem about a year ago. The back of our house leads onto an ally and the couple behind us used to leave their dog out all the time. I felt bad for it but at the same time it was driving me crazy as it would just bark constantly! Even when I managed to get to sleep it would wake me up and it got to the point that I was so tired I could hardly concentrate
ReplyDeleteWe had a word with the guy who totally freaked out and reacted really badly. Eventually my best friend called the police who had a word with them, unfortunately it didn't stop the dog barking. Then the RSPCA arrived and took the dog off them... we dont know if it's cos the dog was being neglected or because the couple didn't want it any more and I definitely didn't wanna ask them
It might be worth contacting the police or checking online for the noise pollution people in your area - here in belfast theres a department in the council who deal specifically with complaints about noise and they're usually great at getting things sorted
Hope you get things sorted... there's nothing worse than feeling like you have to keep your dogs locked indoors just because someone else wont control theirs ♥
Firstly, YOUR DOGS ARE SO CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTE!!! I want to snuggle them!!!
ReplyDeleteSecondly, your neighbor sounds like a psycho. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that ... I bet some of the other people in the neighborhood feel the same way about the barking, so your speaking up does a lot of good. We had a neighbor with 2 German Shepards that sounded like aliens when they barked all night long, and no amount of going over there to pound on the door, calling the sheriff, animal control etc would make a difference. We actually hung up one of those birdhouse-shaped sonic thingies that emits a high-pitched sound when a dog barks, on our own property but as close to theirs as possible, but that didn't help either. The ONLY thing that worked was that they finally fucking moved away!! Up until then, they made so many people miserable >:[
Your dogs: adorable. Her dogs: not disciplined. Sounds like she leaves them out instead of, oh I don't know, being a dog owner. I *hate* people that don't take care of/manage their animals. They get away with it because she's a dip, and I'm sorry that you and your boyfriend can't get sleep because of it. That's ridiculous. I feel your pain for flipping out. If the landlord doesn't do anything I'd consider calling the cops- because I'm sure there's a noise ordinance in your area and if they're loud that long into the night you can call the cops and lodge a formal complaint.
ReplyDeleteBad dog owners. Grr!! Bad neighbor, DOUBLE GRR!
Hope it's a better day today!
Aw, I'm so sorry to hear this :( Everyone is right - there really is no such thing as bad a bad dog - just bad owners! Maybe it's best to have the landlord take care of it, though if that doesn't go anywhere, I would call the cops or animal control, even. If they are barking constantly, something is wrong, and needs to be done. Your dogs are adorable :) Chin up!
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