Catch Me In your Nap, I mean Net- An Old NOTD

I'm tired. But in a good way. The accomplished sort of way. So this week I moved and started a new job. The job is going well so far, it's just retail at a department-type store, but I'm applying for a position at a makeup counter within the store next week and I hope I get it! I have to interview with the regional manager, but the store manager told me he hopes I get it because I would be great for the job. It was really nice to hear that and finally feel competent for once.

So the title of the post probably doesn't make much sense yet, but here it is. I haven't had time to take any new pictures recently so I'm going to show you a swatch of OPI's Catch Me In Your Net that's at least 6 months old. The nap part of the title refers to the fact that I, well, could use one!

On to the swatches! CMIYN is pretty sheer so I'm guessing this was 3 or 4 coats. They apply smoothly and dry fairly quickly. Of course there are a zillion dupes of this by now, so if not this OPI, you definitely need one of the others!  This one was limited edition anyway and is probably harder to find.

OPI Catch Me In Your Net

OPI Catch Me In Your Net

Do you own any of the numerous dupes of this color?

A Makeup Haul for $4 From Dollar Tree With Swatches

Sorry if this post is semi-incoherent. I'm in the process of helping my parents move and I'm exhausted. I'll have to be without internet for a few days so I wanted to get a post up first.

No matter how much money I have nothing beats the feeling of getting a good bargain. Which is why I love Dollar Tree. Everything is, you guessed it, a dollar and they often have things like discontinued Sally Hansen nail polishes and other drugstore makeup. Some things are a bust (like the dried out Cover Girl pencils this time), but if so you're only out a dollar.  Three out of the four items I bought, which were all LA Colors brand, were great and I wanted to show some swatches to prove it.

So totally worth the $4, even though the Cover Girl pencils were too dried up to use. It's a shame, the colors were so pretty too. A bright rose pink with purple sheen and a champagne color with gold sheen.

La Colors Iris

The eyeshadows look extremely shimmery but it's actually just an overspray.  I was a little disappointed, but them not being SO shimmery makes them more wearable.

LA Colors Iris

The eyeshadows are a bit powdery, but they're soft and pigmented. These were swatched dry on bare skin. You can see they look pretty even and not patchy.

LA Colors Water Lily

LA Colors Water Lily

That darker teal color on the right is so pretty.

La Colors Bronze Glow

I barely have any bronzers because frankly, they scare me. Most of them make me look orange or like I have a dirty face. This one is perfect for my pale skinned brethren and It would be great on darker skin too as a highlighter-type thing.

La Colors Bronze Glow

It looks orangey in the swatch but I actually use it like it was a blush and it blends it nicely with the annoying pinkness of my cheeks.  It's also pigmented enough to be used as an eyeshadow. It might look scarily shimmery on my arm but on my face it gives a nice glow, and I'm one that hates glittery cheeks.

So, not bad for $1 each right? The Dollar Trees also usually have the LA Colors nail polishes (I posted about one here), which are pretty good.  Have you found any good bargains lately?

Zoya's Earth Day Nail Polish Exchange Is Back! But Hurry!

Just a quick post to spread the word that Zoya's annual Earth Day polish exchange is back. Basically you purchase Zoya polishes for $4 plus shipping (half price!) and then mail back the equivalent number of old polishes you no longer want. It isn't required to even send them old polishes, although they would really like you to as the point of the exchange is to properly dispose of nail polish in the spirit of Earth Day. Hurry as this promotion is only for this weekend.

Details for Zoya's polish exchange are here.

You Need These Limited Edition L'Oreal Infallible Shadows!

I have the most awesome friends. They have stuck with me through the years despite me not always being there and stepped right up to help me when I needed them. So the point is this. I was with one of my best friends at Walgreens yesterday picking up snacks (popcorn, candy, and cheap wine!) for our girls night when my friend caught me staring wistfully at the new limited edition summer collections from L'Oreal and Revlon (Nouveau Cheap shows the displays here and here). Since I'm on my own and currently jobless (but have some prospects, yay!), I'm flat broke. So what did my friend do? Bought a whole slew of pretties for me. Of course I refused but she also refused to back down. See? Don't I have the best friends? Even though I'm not sure what I did to deserve them!

I have extreme love for L'Oreal's Infallible eye shadows. They are every bit as amazing as I hoped they would be from hearing about them before they came to the US.  The three limited editions (Golden Sage is on the display but is not LE) from this summer's collection- "It's Gold Or Nothing At All"- are must haves.  Infallible shadows are one of the best products not just at the drugstore, but in the makeup world period. I'm prone to hyperbole, but not this time folks. I really love these. They're soft, not powdery, super pigmented, and last forever on my eyelids without creasing or fading. And this is WITHOUT primer. I know not everyone will experience that, but I still love 'em.

I do have to make one small caveat.  The two more matte shades I tried, Endless Pearl and Sultry Smoke did not work as well and I actually ended up exchanging them for more shimmery colors.

Anyway, I wanted to get up swatches quickly because you need them and I want everyone to be able to get them before they disappear!

From left- Pink Sapphire, Gold Imperial, and Gleaming Bronze

From left- Pink Sapphire, Gold Imperial, and Gleaming Bronze

This is a terrible picture of Gleaming Bronze. It isn't actually brown. It's a gorgeous green tinged tarnished metal color and super pretty.

L'Oreal Infallible eye shadow Gleaming Bronze

From left- L'Oreal Infallible eye shadow Pink Sapphire, Gold Imperial, and Gleaming Bronze

There were swatched dry on bare skin. Pink Sapphire and Gold Imperial are extremely sparkly. Gleaming Bronze is shimmery, but the sparkly particles are smaller than the other two. If you only get one shadow from these three it should be Gleaming Bronze!

From left- L'Oreal Infallible eye shadow Pink Sapphire, Gold Imperial, and Gleaming Bronze

Slightly different lighting showing the greener side of Gleaming Bronze. It definitely isn't a duochrome but still has that chameleon-esque quality when it always seems to look different.

Left- Eternal Sunshine Right- Gold Imperial

Here is Gold Imperial compared to the permanent Infallible gold, Eternal Sunshine. Eternal sunshine is warmer, almost a beige-y gold while Gold Imperial is more of a cooler, brighter, more sparkly gold.  I tried to get a swatch picture comparing the two but all the shininess scared the camera.

Left- Gold Imperial Right- Eternal Sunshine (opposite of above)

The lighting in this picture is terrible, but you can tell how much brighter and more sparkly Gold Imperial (the LE color) is on the left. Eternal Sunshine looks more muted.

So I ended up posting again much sooner than I expected. I just can't leave you guys!  So what do you think? Do you plan on picking any of these up?

NOTD- Lime Lights of Olympia

So here she (he? it?) is. The promised first "real" post! Nail polish is my first and main love so it's fitting that this is my first post back.  I bought Sally Hansen Lime Lights, a sheer shimmery green, in a two pack from Dollar Tree so it basically cost me 50 cents. It look horrendous by itself, but looks awesome layered. Don't worry, I haz proofs.

And here are my disclaimers (Maribeth I know you love these, haha)- please excuse my gross cuticles as I basically didn't give a crap about my nails for several months, the sloppy application job as I don't have my clean up brush, the bad quality pictures as I'm using an unfamiliar camera, and anything else your eyes may deem offensive. Okay, now that we are sufficiently disclaimed, we may proceed.

This is one coat of Sally Hansen Lime Lights over 2 coats of Sinful Olympia.

Sinful Olympia and Sally Hansen Lime Lights

Whew, that wasn't so hard. Hope to see you guys again soon!

I'm Back! (Sorta)

I have my first "real" post scheduled to be posted tomorrow! It isn't anything fancy, just some happy spring green nails, but it's a start. I still don't have my camera, most of my nail polish or most of my makeup, but I'm making do with what I have (I'm dreading driving back to my old home to get my things... ugh). ANYWAYS, I will be posting sporadically when the urge strikes, but the urge is definitely returning... which makes me happy.  Are things looking up for me? I hope so. I have a job interview tomorrow that I'm afraid to even mention in fear of jinxing it. It's for a part time supervisor position at an Estee Lauder makeup counter and I want it so badly! Oh well, even if I don't get it, at least I have had my first interview and got the ball rolling.

Just so this isn't  a picture-less post, here is a picture of my precious chubby little baby girl sleeping on the window sill.  She normally has the cute curled pug tail, but when she sleeps it straightens out.

She recently discovered that windows let you see things outside without actually having to be outside! Haha. This window is about 4 1/2 feet of the ground so I had to lift her up there. She spend about 15 minutes making angry "guffing" noises at cars driving by before she got tired and took a nap. She is decidedly too chubby for the window sill but that didn't stop her.

Ohhh, do you guys use Pinterest? I've been using it quite a bit lately. It's awesome for keeping track of things that catch my eye and usually immediately forget about.  Here is my Pinterest link- http://pinterest.com/jessilpp/. Link me your Pinterest account in the comments so I can follow you!  If you need an invite, just email me and I'll send you one.

Oh, I wanted to thank everyone who has left me such positive and uplifting comments. It's overwhelming to me that so many people I don't even know in "real" life care so much. You guys really are the best. I can't even begin to express how much it has helped. I love you all. Thank you.

The obligatory "I'm Alive" post title.

Hey guys! I'm not sure if anyone out there on teh internets will even see this as I'm sure everyone has forgotten I exist. Hell, some days I forget I exist. Anyway, I just wanted to give everyone an update, for those of you who might be wondering. I'm not going to lie. These past five months have been hell. And I'm still not through it. Not by a long shot. I've realized a lot about myself and have a lot to work on. It's been really slow going. I'm still living with my parents. Which is... weird and hard. I'm a difficult person to love and I have to give credit to them for being as supportive as they can be. I can imagine how hard it is to see your grown child struggling like I have been and be unable to do anything about it. Sometimes I feel like everyone lied to me. It doesn't get better with time. I just get better at faking it. I guess the shitty times make you grateful for the good times, but I just wish the shitty times weren't quite SO shitty. Haha. Sometimes it feels like no matter what you do or how hard you try, nothing works out. But I NEVER say, "Things couldn't get any worse", because they can always get worse. So no matter HOW shitty you feel, you could always feel shittier. Comforting, huh? The other day I was laying in bed feeling sorry for myself and I seriously thought, "I wonder if I'm one of the saddest people in the world." After half a second I realized the absurdity of my thought process and burst out laughing. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, laughing and sobbing at the same time. Anywaaaaaays, I've about forgotten where I'm going with this. Oh yeah. I miss blogging and I miss you all you guys. Ive started stealthily reading blogs again but I'm not quite up to commenting or blogging myself yet. I still paint my nails several times a week and buy makeup (or did before my meager savings ran out. Currently looking for a job, but realistically am unsure if I can hold a job right now. I need to at least try I guess. I'm just afraid to fail.) I'm loving the Revlon lip butters and L'Oreal's Infallible eyeshadows. Most of my makeup and nail polish are still at the ex's house (THAT situation is all fucked up and complicated) and I miss all my things! I've been meaning to make an update post in one of my semi-functional moments for a while, just have never got around to it. I'm glad I finally have.

I know this post sounds really pathetic and sad, but I'm alive guys. I chose to be alive. And for anyone who has ever experienced severe depression, that is huge. It means everything will eventually be okay.  For those of you who have someone struggling with depression in your lives, I have some advice.  Patience and consistency is key. While they are struggling they probably won't be able to show gratitude or love or much of anything towards you for being there for them, but that doesn't mean they don't love you and need you. If you haven't experienced it, it's hard to understand being completely consumed by the devastating sadness. The WORST thing you could ever tell a depressed person is to "Just get over it. Don't let it bother you." or "Just don't think about it". No one wants to feel depressed; saying these things only makes the person feel weak and their illness invalid. People who have struggled with mental illness are some of the strongest people I know. It took me years to not think of myself as weak, and it is still something I struggle with. I read a book title recently and it summed up my struggles perfectly- "How I Stayed Alive While My Brain Was Trying To Kill Me". Imagine having to struggle with life and death every waking second. And still choosing to live. If that doesn't show fucking strength I don't know what does. Okay, this part is highly personal. But I want people who haven't experienced it to understand, and those that have to know they aren't alone. A few months ago when I was at my lowest point, I actively considered suicide nearly every second of the day. I didn't want to die, I wasn't relieved that I would no longer be hurting, I was just in so much pain that I didn't feel there was any other choice. I read here that people consider suicide "When someone feels like their pain exceeds their resources and their ability to cope". I'm not sure exactly what it was that saved me. I guess I still had some hope. And I couldn't do it the people I loved. I at least owed it to them to keep trying. In the end I'm not sure what brought me around. I got help, but it wasn't medication (which due to another diagnosis I have has never really helped me. I took it for 10 years and it has only left me with annoying side effects even after having stopped 4 years ago.) and I never went to therapy, although I still should.  I think I decided I wasn't going to allow myself to be the victim anymore. I wanted to take charge of my life. It's MY life; the only one I have. Just because you decide something doesn't mean it happens over night, though. It's a constant struggle. But I really believe I will be okay. Well, at least I do now. It will probably change tomorrow. :-P

Wow, I ended up typing way more than I meant to. It was cathartic, so even if no one reads it... I feel better. I miss everyone. Hopefully I can come back "for real" soon. Maybe this wasn't something I *should* have posted on the internet, but frankly I'm fucking sick of the stigma mental illness gets. When I was 15 I was talking to a nurse about how ashamed I was of having depression. Even 10 years later I remember perfectly what she said, "Look at me. I'm a diabetic. I've had diabetes since I was a child. Am I ashamed of it? No, because it's a medical condition and I can't help it. You should never let other people make you feel like less of a person because you can't help having depression either. You didn't choose this. The important thing is that you're getting help and your struggles will make you a stronger person." I don't remember her name, but she changed my life.

In case anyone needs proof that I'm still alive, here ya go. A crappy picture I took with my equally crappy cell phone. I've lost about 35-40 pounds. I think about half of that was from my double (or triple!) chin. Haha!