I feel... defeated and sad. I talk big, but I'm really a big weenie who hates confrontation. It makes me shaky and nauseous. I have a tendency to become extremely angry and semi-incoherent. When that approach doesn't work (and it never does) I become coldly angry and eloquent. THEN I become quiet, reasonable, sad, and desperate to make things work and for the other person to see even a glimmer of reason (or at least that someone seeing something from a different perspective doesn't make them wrong). But usually by then it's too late.
If you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about, I got in a HUGE fight with my neighbor last night (through the 6 foot privacy fence, haha). She has 4 dogs and whenever she is home, they are always outside barking continuously. Yes, even in the middle of the night. We've lived here for 2 years and I've never complained about it but I finally got fed up. Also, her dogs antagonize mine. My bulldog is bad and bites on the fence between our yards, but only because her dogs are bouncing off the fence on the other side. To stop my bulldog from biting on the fence, we put a smaller flower bed type fence in front of it. But the bulldog has learned to jump that and right now we're waiting to get the money so we can build a better solution (a higher fence before the actual fence). But every time he jumps that stupid little fence I go outside and bring him in immediately. But because her dogs are out for hours at a time I can never let mine out. But that isn't even my issue because we are going to fix the little fence. My issue is the barking in the middle of the night. If you guys didn't know my boyfriend is a firefighter, and it's a stressful job. He NEEDS his sleep at night. I see him tossing and turning at night when her dogs are barking and I finally had enough. The confrontation started cordially enough by me asking her to keep them quiet at night because my boyfriend (and I) were having trouble sleeping. Well... it was a weird argument that devolved quickly into insults from both sides. I felt terrible and apologized and after she called me "insane, unintelligent, and a coward". I tried talking things out and it just didn't work. She said a lot of weird things that made me believe she isn't completely rational. Like this- she doesn't like to discipline her dogs or be "mean" to them because that have had hard lives. Wtf? I understand irrationality in anger, but this was before that. The things she said to me don't bother me, it's just all the negative energy lingering making me feel sick. That and the fact that she refused to do anything so I'm going to have to escalate the issue to our landlord. I just want the problem to go away. I just want to be able to sleep. Ugh.
I'm still too shook up to think about makeup right now, so I'll post some pictures of my doggies if you guys don't mind. They sometimes sometimes drive me insane, but more often than not they actually help me maintain my sanity.
Sorry for new pretties today. Just not in a pretty mood. If you guys want to see pictures of something pretty, make sure to look at the post from yesterday!
Thank you for reading and have a great day/night/whatever!